Controlling My Life Through Tetris
By Mary Gaudioso, kenshinsgirl
In this piece, a gameHER celebrates her love for Tetris – how the game first came into her life, has helped her through stressful times, and gives her a model for tackling real life challenges.
Screenshot from Puyo Puyo Tetris courtesy of Sega
Recently, it feels like I haven’t been “winning” at life. Recently, I’ve been playing a lot of Tetris.
Tetris as a coping mechanism may sound like the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard, but this addictive 1984 puzzle game is more than meets the eye– more powerful than you could ever imagine. In times when nothing seems to be going my way, when I feel all my anxieties piling up at once, I crack open a beer, crash on my couch and play three hours of Tetris. The resulting relief in the midst of falling blocks is baffling.
My Tetris habit isn’t anything new. I first found Tetris on a free-to-play website when I was a college sophomore stressed out by classes and a new relationship. Sitting with my laptop and making colorful two-dimensional blocks line-dance to a Russian folk song was extremely calming for me.
Screenshot of Tetris Effect courtesy of Enhance Games
It was a game that slowly turned into an obsession. I became methodical with my play; I started watching competitive matches to learn specific techniques and hone my skills. I would ironically begin to show up to class late because I wanted to beat my high score (which was 197,000 by the way, amazing for the server I used to play on).
There was solace and certainty in Tetris. There was peace in it. I could see what I had, see what was next and plan accordingly. Its routine rhythm silenced the noise around me. It was just me, the pieces, and “Korobeiniki.” When a challenge came my way that I thought I couldn’t handle, I pressed L1 to hold it back. I could attack the problem when I was ready for it. When I succeeded, I enjoyed the music and the colors. When I wasn’t doing well, the clear endgame helped me focus on my task. By the end of the session, no matter my bad mood or life circumstances, I was back to my usual self. Tetris brought me back to life.
It’s what I wished my life could be all the time; a game where I had control, a game of strategy and color and music, a game I was good at. A game I usually won.
Even after college, Tetris was always there dropping me a Hero piece when I needed it. The North American release of Puyo Puyo Tetris came just in time, as I had just been laid off from my first “real world” job and was down in the dumps. Its vibrant colors, peppy atmosphere, multiplayer capabilities, and cute anime girls made me feel like this game was made specifically for me.
A few years later when a medical issue kept me off my feet, a T-piece dropped to me with Tetris Effect. It challenged me like no other Tetris had with its immersive musical element. It was a game harder to win, but I couldn't complain; it was so much fun it didn’t matter. If I had a VR headset and booted that game up, I would probably never leave the house! Good thing I don’t have one…yet.
But I do leave the house, go to work, and live my life of always moving pieces. I play Tetris because life is Tetris. Problem-solving, focusing, adapting to change— all life skills I utilize in this game. Tetris is challenging and so is life. Tetris is difficult and so is life. But Tetris is also a lot of fun! And you know what, so is life. It just doesn’t always seem that way when the blocks speed up.
I feel more strongly about Tetris now than ever before. My New Year’s Resolution for 2021 was perfecting the T-spin…and it’s my 2022 resolution because that move is hard. But no matter what I’m doing, when my life feels like it is in total shambles, Tetris helps me gather all the pieces and fit them back together, in lines ten across.
About the author:
Mary Gaudioso is a streamer and podcaster with a passion for music, anime, mochi ice cream, and Hatsune Miku. After playing Kingdom Hearts in 2002, she discovered the power video games have to tell meaningful stories and dove headfirst into the world of RPGs. Her favorite games are Final Fantasy X, Persona 5, and Puyo Puyo Tetris. With either her DualShock controller or flute in hand, you can find her on Twitch, Instagram, and Youtube @kenshinsgirl.
Mary Gaudioso a.k.a. kenshinsgirl, photo courtesy of the author
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